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inside_out_me
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Name: me
Interests: food...to me food is haven =) i know we eat to live, not live to eat...but does it mean losing one of life's most enjoyable thing? so long as we dont overeat, why not? crap!!! ;p
Expertise: i dont know if i have any...probably yes...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/15/2005
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| it's an irony that i'm writing about happiness when i'm not feeling any happiness at the moment. or am i choosing to write about happiness in search of it. yes indeed we ae all searching for this precious feeling. so near yet so far. it's abstract and yet so real when u feel it. happiness walks the fine line between illusion and reality... when we are with happy people we will naturally feel happier. simply because happiness, like yawning is contagious. it's nice to be with happy people. but what do you do when there's no happy people around to make you feel happy? live your life miserably until you finally meet someone who brings happiness along? no. the answer is simple. happiness is a choice we make. we choose to feel happy, be happy, and we'll be happy. we choose otherwise then it'll be otherwise the fact that happiness is a choice makes life simpler. and yet more often than not we, or at least i myself choose to feel miserable. why? i dont know.seriously i dont know why. if happiness is so easy to achive why are there so many people down with depression? it's not easy to make ourself happy sometimes i guess. somehow things just dont go our way. perhaps ignorance is bliss. to be happy is to be a little stupid sometimes. ignorance is bliss...it's true. but i cant live my life ignorantly. i am still young. ihave lots to achieve. i cant live my life not achieving anything. i can be ignorant. i can choose. at this moment i choose to be ignorant. not doing assignment now is alright.  | | |
| it's very annoying to be told over and over...actually be reminded that i'm actually blur...huh??? was i too confident of myself or what? i never thought of myself as blur...just ermmm...a little bit clumsy...i can fix that...well...i guess i'm just a bit over reactive towards this blur thing especially and only when it comes out from that particular person's mouth. why? because i think this person is so much blurrer than i am...if i am blur...duh~~~
being a nice person, have always been, i usually just let it be...until recently i begin to show some colours but doesnt seem to work ... i'm not stern enough? maybe because after that i tend to mend the holes by putting up nice gestures...smile!!! yeah...i've learnt one more trick...smile...fake it up if u need to...things i was repulsive towards several years ago i find myself accpeting it and in some cases doing it as well...like faking up a smile....i dont know how have i come to change into who i am now....but circumstances certainly is the main pushing factor...perhaps i should look at it as an act of courteousness...look long-term...no point arguing because of things like that...i let u have it....not that i think i'm blur ok...
if u're a not as blur as me person i dont think u should say i'm blur in the first place....in this case this person is much blurrer than i am...but blur people as we know, will not think they're blur...nevermind...am i one of them too? i hope i will not explode anytime soon...i want a positive image....not worth spoiling it this way...i'm impressed by some people who just seem to be able to show thier anger openly, voice out their opinion almost every single minute but i'll just admire that. i dont think i need to do the same in order to be perceived as having confidence blablabla...
uh i just hate hinting and stuffs alike...see,. i started as a person who dont hint, now i learn to hint little, maybe it's useful at times when direct explaination and talking cant seem to work,....arghhh everything has two sides....good bad positive negative
i've figured outwhy she thinks i'm blur...because i used to be extremely clumsy....that's because i dont give a damn to anything last time...not now...so always mind to make a good first impression or u'll have to bear with such torturous thing...maybe i should not see blur as having any connection with my intelligence....that' way it'll not challenge my ego....yea...i'm very very ego...and sometimes too much...so what??? get a life!!!
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| i dont know but some people ought to be given communication class somehow. what and how they say things can either be annoying or simply ridiculous. had been forcing myself to laugh at some stupidest joke i've ever heard on earth. thinking back, why should i pretend to laugh.i should have just showed my usual sour face. like i care. like i give a damn. arghhh... why am i doing all these?????? to create a positive image of myself? need i? must i? cultural differences can really make a whole lot of difference in communication. things they find funny i think is ridiculous and extremely stupid. help!!! | | |
| how does it feel like? how does it feel like not having your sister sit beside you during meals? how does it feel like watching your sister sit with someone else other than your family member, exchanging smiles...glance...scooping salad for each other....it feels weird. she seems to be so happy that you cant help but feel the same for her too. but somehow, deep down inside, i felt the emptiness. it's like giving away my sister to someone else...to let that someone care for her...something has been taken away from me, but i just cant figure out what exactly it is....i guess that's how mum felt when i went on my first date...=) it just feels empty, weird...and you have to admit that your sister is no longer a little girl...everyone has grown up...it's a mixture of feelings...i just cant figure out...i miss those days when our hearts is only for our family and friends...now it's reserved for that someone....perhaps, a large proportion of it...and why and how it happens...i dont know......still, it feels weird. | | |
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there are just so many things i don't understand...like...
